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Paul B. Farrell
March 15, 2011, 12:01 a.m. EDT
View all Paul B. Farrell "º
"¹ Previous Column
The 2008 crash isn't over, only covered up
First Take "º
Apollo: Wall Street, do we have a problem?
By Paul B. Farrell, MarketWatch
ARROYO GRANDE, Calif. (MarketWatch) "” Welcome to the "Sober Valley Lodge." Both patients work their very own do-it-yourself recovery program. Both are self-destructive, both in denial of the collateral damage to the world around them. But neither admits they are self-destructive addicts.
Charlie Sheen's drug is "Charlie" (plus "Tiger's Blood"). Wall Street's drug is money and power. Their motto: "greed is great."
EisnerAmper's Tim Speiss talks with Veronica Dagher about the common mistakes celebrities make with their money and what the average investor can learn from celebs when it comes to their financial planning.
Today you will vote on who's really sober. Which do-it-yourself recovery program is working? Will either get sober before their behavior destroys the world? We'll examine Wall Street's addiction through the lens of the classic 20 Question test used by Johns Hopkins University Hospital, modified for Wall Street's unique addiction.
First, here's Sheen: Our sympathies to his family and friends, the 250 members of the cast and crew of "Two and a Half Men" now unemployed thanks to Sheen, who claims his recovery program is working at the "Sober Valley Lodge." Proof: "I am on a drug, it's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." That's sobriety?
A couple decades ago I worked in the field as a crisis manager, did interventions on a few hundred recovering folks, many from the Betty Ford Center: rock stars, actors, athletes, physicians, politicians, royalty and other celebrities.
Today someone else has the diagnosis. The New York Times says "Tom Arnold, actor and comedian, has been a quiet force in Hollywood's recovery community, helping stage a number of interventions for drug-addicted executives and alcoholic stars."
Arnold "was stunned by what happened when he tried to pull his friend and former neighbor, Charlie Sheen, back from the brink: I went to a person close to him and said, "?This guy is in serious trouble with serious drugs. We've got to help him,' Mr. Arnold recalled in an interview. "?And this person flat-out told me to my face, "?We make a lot of money from him. I can't be part of it.' That tells you everything you need to know."
Reminds me of the warning Lou, an older, wiser mentor, Hal Holbrook, gave the ambitious young broker Sheen played in the 1987 classic film "Wall Street:" "The main thing about money is that it makes you do things you don't want to do," deadens morals.
The Times quotes John Schwarzlose, Betty Ford Center's CEO: "One of the problems with the entertainment industry is that, to protect the image of these people, they try to deal with the problem by sweeping it under the rug." Then the Times adds: "In the case of a crack-smoking, prostitute-frequenting Mr. Sheen, many people in Hollywood say there is a long list of enablers "¦ fed on Mr. Sheen's antics for years."
Of course, Sheen may be sober today. But he is in denial. What I see is a reminder of the Wall Street insiders I've been watching since my days at Morgan Stanley three decades ago. Today's Sheen still acts like the hotshot broker in "Wall Street."
Since the 2008 crash however, Wall Street insiders have become much darker morally, totally addicted to "greed is great," on speed with short-term brains, narcissistic, obsessed with money, and no public conscience. Yes, listen to the subtext in Sheen's rant; imagine it's a virus driving Wall Street's collective brain to get super rich trading derivatives:
"Most of the time, and this includes naps, I'm an F18 bro, will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordnance to the ground. There's a new sheriff in town and he has an army of assassins. "¦ If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you'd be like, "?Dude! Can't handle it, unplug this bastard!' It fires in a way that's maybe not from this terrestrial realm." Imagine that message infecting Wall Street's collective brain today.
Now you must decide. Ask yourself: Will Wall Street ever recover? Or will it self-destruct? Must they destroy the economy and capitalism first?
Now imagine Wall Street's answers to the classic 20 Questions test used by Johns Hopkins, modified for Wall Street's greed addiction. Doctors conclude: One "yes" answer is a clear warning. Three or more, and you're definitely an addict. So it's no wonder addicts like Wall Street will deny all 20. Denial, like addiction, is all-consuming:
1. Do you lose time from work due to your addiction?
Never, I'm there at the opening bell. There when the closing bell rings. Besides, when we come in hung over or take a three-martini lunch we've got a lot of new MBA grads, secretaries and algorithms to cover for us.
2. Is your addiction making your home life unhappy?
Are you kidding? We make millions a year, my wife buys whatever she wants, kids go to top schools, we weekend at our second home in the Hamptons. You bet we're happy.
3. Do you use drugs because you're shy with people?
Yeah, shy like Sheen. Listen Paul, we love mixing with billionaires, lobbyists, oil-rich dictators. And we shout it from on high, drinking Charlie's "Tigers Blood."
4. Is your addiction affecting your reputation?
Reputation? Nobody cares. Besides, the Department of Justice won't sue us for corruption or moral turpitude. They'd never get reelected. After 3,800 of our old buddies got indicted during the late "?80's S&L crisis, we had the laws rewritten to legalize our games, made it tougher to prosecute, got exempt from risky areas, underfunded enforcers, gave lots more campaign money to politicians. A great investment.
5. Have you ever felt remorse after using your drugs?
Remorse? What's that? You mean a conscience? Morals? Integrity? Sorry, don't have a clue. Besides, we'd never make all our millions if we got honest, disclosed the truth.
Paul Farrell writes the column on behavioral economics. He's the author of nine books on personal finance, economics and psychology, including "The Millionaire Code," "The Winning Portfolio," "The Lazy Person's Guide to Investing." Farrell was an investment banker with Morgan Stanley; executive vice president of the Financial News Network; executive vice president of Mercury Entertainment Corp; and associate editor of the Los Angeles Herald Examiner. He has a Juris Doctor and a Doctorate in Psychology.
How good is your memory? The people behind Apollo Global Management hope it doesn't stretch back more than three years tops.
12:17 p.m. Today12:17 p.m. March 15, 2011
"Toxic Charlie Sheen virus infects Wall Street http://on.mktw.net/dRvVjl" 11:33 p.m. EDT, March 14, 2011 from MKTWFarrell
"The 2008 crash isn't over, only covered up http://on.mktw.net/i36i1A" 12:16 a.m. EST, March 8, 2011 from MKTWFarrell
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