’Twas the night before Christmas, the year twenty-two,
I was ready at last and had naught more to do.
My tree stood bedecked with bulbs and lights shining bright
Like a beacon for Santa that dark wintry night.
From a short nap by the fire, I woke in surprise
And found myself gazing at big, round, cheery eyes.
At once, I knew they were Santa’s – he’s really here,
And ready, I thought, to spread some holiday cheer.
But instead, Santa began to loudly speak out
On a wide range of things he’d been thinking about.
“This year’s been hard,” he said, “as I’m sure you well know.
Inflation’s too high and growth is painfully slow.”
“My supply chain is still clogged – it’s totally jammed
And long overtime hours, have the elves feeling slammed.”
“Those elves, who ’round the clock do so faithfully toil,
Suffer the cold in my shop with no heating oil.”
“We’ve been told that from fossil fuel we must abstain
So a carbon-free world we might someday obtain.”
“Not using oil now is both stupid and tragic.
Because only my sleigh is powered by magic.”
Santa’s voice got louder, his cheeks turned rosy red
As he harshly decried dumb mistakes by the Fed.
“It kept interest rates too low for way too long
And its buying up bonds just compounded the wrong.”
“While the Fed dithered, inflation got out of hand,
Forcing it at last to take a much stronger stand.
And now the Fed’s pushing rates steadily higher,
So that price expectations don’t also catch fire.”
“All this makes the Fed look like that nasty old Grinch
As rising rates have borrowers feeling the pinch.
So high mortgage rates threaten a deep housing slump
As new lending stalls and mortgage foreclosures jump.”
“This sharp rise in rates is a heavy toll taking
So deeper troubles might well be in the making.
Indeed, the yield curve is so steeply inverted,
It predicts a recession can’t be averted.”
Santa spoke then of other things he views with alarm
That threaten our way of life with unbounded harm.
He lamented aloud the mess at the border
And how unpunished crime wreaks civil disorder.
But Santa too noted that some things have improved.
Covid’s less a threat though not completely removed.
In myriad ways we’ve slowed the virus’s spread,
But the lockdowns made problems that still lie ahead.
The craze over crypto has long seemed confusing,
So the FTX failure seems most amusing.
At that, Santa let out a deep hearty chuckle,
As his fat belly jiggled o’er his belt buckle.
But when Santa quit laughing his words got more stern
Noting that from failures there’s so much we can learn.
“Follow this simple rule in the years just ahead,
Avoid too risky assets, seek safe ones instead.”
But then in a snap Santa declared his job done,
“I must leave here and resume my Christmas eve run.”
And as he flew off into the wintry night air
“Merry Christmas to all!” he did loudly declare.
