I have my testosterone drained a couple times a week. It’s a real pain in the ass, but if I didn’t, I would bust out of my clothes like Lou Ferringo turning into the Incredible Hulk. One week last year, I forgot to “get drained,” and I ruined a $1,500 J Press sports jacket I had just gotten in New York. Tore the damn thing to shreds. That’s not the first time I had forgotten about a “draining” appointment; all the other times when I had seen an attractive woman, I pulled her by her hair back to my caveman lair. A fellow can get into real trouble with my condition. Luckily, none of the women complained.
My condition, as it is known medically, “Uber-Hossness,” causes all sorts of issues: bar fights, refusal to ask directions, remote control clutching, excessive scratching and burping and yelling at tv sets during football games. However, perhaps the most significant symptom is extreme honesty. When one is an Uber-Hoss, there is no fear of being disliked. I don’t have “feelings” like the little girly men one sees wearing their pajamas and slippers into Starbucks. I’ve never cried once in my life, not even when I was born. When Dr. Ware birthed me, I bummed a cigarette off him and walked right to the 7-11 next door and downed a quart of Old English 800. Since people with my condition don’t care what others think, we are free to speak the unvarnished truth. For example, when any of my 7 ex-wives asked me “do I look fat in this dress?” I have always been free to tell them they could lose a few pounds. Nothing is more enjoyable than pissing people off by telling the truth.
Nothing unhinges Leftists more than mocking groupthink orthodoxy. They become incredulous, spitting saliva and shouting obscenities, and then walk away when you patiently try and explain the utter fallacy and ignorance of their spoon-fed belief system. Others believe what they do because they align themselves with whatever faction they feel is most fashionable ( See definition of “Karen”). Many have gotten the notion that what one wants to believe is true, instead of what actually is true ( the good hearted sap). Objective reality takes a back seat to wishful thinking. The sorriest group of reality deniers are the ones who know the truth, but are afraid to speak up. To them I say: your forefathers sacrificed 8 long years of misery, death, disease and unimaginable hardship, but you Mr. Upper Middle Class professional are afraid to speak up for fear of losing your job? Grow a pair.
Hey medical profession, you suck. Why is it that I and my 3 brothers, all History and English majors spoke up about the ridiculous, unscientific and utterly nonsensical Covid mandates? We knew face masks did nothing to stop the Coronavirus and in fact were harmful, that the deaths and sicknesses were inflated for political purposes, that mandated social distancing was a brainless idea and that vaccines would not work as advertised and would cause serious, long lasting side effects and many deaths. Y’all have no credibility, are you this stupid or are you all just a bunch of Stepford drone pu##ies afraid to speak up out of fear? This was the biggest health issue of modern times. Your profession failed miserably. So what’s more important, you losing your job for speaking out or hundreds of thousands of people dying because nobody had the balls to flip the bird to the CDC and NIH and prescribe prophylactics? As a profession, your credibility is shot.
Dear College professors, you are a bunch of self-righteous clowns. Have any of you even thought to have an independent, fact-based opinion that goes against the groupthink orthodoxy of your university? Why are you so afraid of ideas that are counter to the groupthink bubble you inhabit? Have you ever tried to argue the other side of anything? If y’all are so smart, why not advocate for 100% free speech and allow people to say whatever they want? Surely you “PHDs” have the rhetorical skills and intelligence to demolish the unwashed rubes who challenge your leftist ideas. Or do you? Perhaps your leftist ideas are so ludicrous they cannot be defended in open debate and that’s why you cancel speech and call anyone who disagrees with your shrill idiocy a Nazi or a racist?
Race Hustlers and Dividers. You don’t fool anyone. You are not really offended by the N word, names of sports teams, Confederate statues or the hundreds of other things you bellyache about. It’s all a scam to gain power and money. Everyone in this country is damn lucky to be here, and there has never been a more prosperous time in the history of the world than right now. I know and like lots of black people. Many more than the limousine liberals who try and lecture us on social justice and “diversity, equity and inclusion.” If you understand the concept of loving others because we are all made in the image of God, the best way to help black people is to harshly criticize them for their behavior. No problem in the world has ever been solved by ignoring truth. The problem plaquing the black underclass is entirely due to the conduct of the black underclass. No one is going to fix this for them. 4% of the population (black males between 14-45) commit more than 60% of the violent crimes in the United States. Blacks are at the bottom of every socio-economic and educational category. I don’t see the Amish smashing and grabbing in Beverly Hills jewelry stores or beating up Asians for fun. Do away with state sponsored coddling, enabling, the victim industry, quotas, the social welfare state and hold people accountable, and the next generation of black people will rise like a phoenix. It will be chock full of Booker T. Washingtons (one of my favorite Virginians). So I just told you the truth. Who loves black people more, the guy who tells the truth in an effort to lift them up and out of a terribly dystopian world, or the fake friend of liberalism that uses them for their own political aggrandizement while exhibiting smug indifference as black people gun each other down in the streets?
Men and Women are different. The idea that men and women are completely the same and therefore the only reason that there is not some sort of equality of results in the working world is because of societal discrimination is absurd. It is not just physical. We are wired differently. We process information differently. We visualize differently. Our bodies work differently. We have many similarities, but we also have many differences down to the most minute cell. Everyone knows this. Trying to pretend otherwise is an absurdity. The reason that women have the opportunities they do today is because of capitalism, free markets and Adam Smith’s “division of labor.” A vibrant and dynamic economy creates opportunities for both sexes to find their niche and excel. Yet, the unhinged nutcases walking around in Handmaid Tale costumes all advocate socialist control of the economy. This would destroy all the progress women have made over the last 100 years.
We are raising a generation of pus##es. There should be no “work permit” rules that prevent kids from getting jobs. The best way to de-pu##yfy kids is to have them get their hands dirty working a real job at a young age. Funny, a kid can go to all sorts of after school activities and have his head filled with mush, but he can’t get paid to pick up a broom and sweep the floor at his local fast food joint.
The feminization of men and the defemination of women is not a good thing. Teaching little Johnny that he can wear a dress to school and go to the beauty parlor undermines the fabric of society. The primary role of men since the first caveman uttered “Ugg” is to protect women. A man cannot become a woman by sewing on some boobs and a woman cannot become a man by slapping a penis on her. It is a cruel fiction, and everybody with a grain of sense knows it. Transgenderism is a mental disease. The groomers who promote this are sick and evil perverts. Grooming 5 year-olds to have their bodies mutilated is nothing short of child sacrifice.
Space does not afford me the luxury to denounce all the idiotic pap that our vacuous elites have shoved down our throats. No one questions the absurdity of economists, most all of whom have drunk the Kool Aid administered by academia. Usually such academic elites have never as much as had a paper route, much less owned a small business. The board members of the Federal Reserve actually believe that by destroying the economy and making everyone poorer they are helping the economy. In reality, capital formation and competition drives prices lower, not higher interest rates. How can anybody believe Keynesian economic theory? How can anybody believe that a government spending program will ever achieve the lofty rhetoric of the snake oil simpletons who promote such legislation? Then there’s the climate change hoax. There are no living things on earth without C02, but the same people who have never been right about anything tell us that man-made CO2 will blow up in the world, even though manmade C02 is infinitesimal compared to the C02 nature produces. Wake up you dumb asses. You are being played.
If you are a woke snowflake and this article caused you to become unhinged and you are panting and foaming at the mouth like Old Yeller, I am ecstatic. Now, I want you to humor me by engaging in a visualization exercise. Close your eyes. Visualize I am standing in front of you smirking, arm extended with all fingers closed except my middle finger.
