What were the Redneck’s last words before he died? Answer: watch this fellas! Men are conquerors, if this were not true, America would’ve never been discovered. Our “conquer” DNA makes us do things that women will never understand. Admittedly, some of the things we do can fairly be described as “stupid.” But, we have to do what we have to do. A couple weeks ago, I was in Greenwich, Connecticut. It was late evening, and I was sitting on a park bench in a lovely and lush park with an enchanting young lass. The sun was setting, and her perfume blended with the subtle, cool breezes blowing off Long Island Sound, enriching the amorous senses of your author. But suddenly, I had to get up. I walked 50 paces and proudly peed on some city park shrubbery. The ingénue was quite puzzled. However, I had to do what I had to do to tell Greenwich, Conn that I was the boss of it. Rick put Elsa on the plane in Casablanca, this was kind of the same thing.
My son Coleman and I exercise our conquer gene in multiple ways. One of which is, if we see water we have to go in. Swimming in Maine when not even the natives will put their toe in the water is our way to tell the ocean, we own you, you are our bitch and we are not afraid of you. Like I said, I don’t expect you ladies to understand. Last year Coleman and I were hiking down a canyon in Southern California. When we got to the bottom, there was a lagoon with what looked like venomous snakes swimming across it. Coleman gave me a look that said “c’mon dad, let’s do it,” and promptly dived in. I have never been prouder of my son for doing anything stupider!
Lately, the mainstream and very liberal news media has been telling us that we are experiencing record high temperatures in their efforts to spread fear and get us to swallow the hoax of climate change. It’s not that hot, indeed it has been a mild summer. News flash: it is supposed to be hot in the summer. Now one of the cognitive benefits of doing “stupid conquer” stuff is having historical memory about the condition of the elements. Not terribly long ago, when I should’ve been a responsible adult since I had 3 children to put through private school, my other stupid male friends and I participated in what we called “The Heat Bowl.” On what we deemed were likely the hottest days of the year, generally around 105 degrees, we would play tennis (on hard courts) under the boiling sun. I remember many a Heat Bowl and many 105-degree days. By the way when John Blankenship got heat stroke after one of our matches, we teased him unmercifully because that’s all a part of being a stupid male. Ladies, I trust you are taking notes. I remember many consecutive weeks in the high 90s, and summers when the thermometer was well over 100 for 7 days. I remember being in Virginia Beach when it was 110 degrees. My buds and I had a contest to see who could walk the farthest barefoot on the hot sand. My feet did not fare well that day, and I was called the P word.
So to the Main Stream Media, I raise my middle finger, you can’t fool me because I actually have a memory. With this said, I am amazed at all those who don’t. Yesterday, this lady who comes into Starbucks every day was complaining about the “record” heat. She’s one of those New York Times reading types. She’s married to some academic and she walks 10 blocks to Starbucks wearing one of those “I” whatever you call it facemasks. She’s in her mid-70s, you would think she might have a memory without having to consort with the NYT and NPR to tell her how to think, but no, she is a robot whose memory card has been yanked out.
I fear for my country. It is as though everyone was “born yesterday” and they wake up, log onto social media and are then given their orders on what to believe. Yet, no one seems to remember how wrong many of our “distinguished experts” and media personalities have been in the past and how many times. If it happened more than two days ago, well it didn’t happen. So in an effort to save western civilization, here are a few tips that will keep you from being a mindless drone and a Stepford Wife to the mainstream media:
- Don’t believe anything you read or any video you watch. Everybody has an agenda, even your very humble and modest author. My agenda is simple and noble, I want to save western civilization. However, all the other pundits out there are evil manipulators. Before you swallow what these charlatans say, check what tribe they belong to and who might be greasing their palms. Who do they want to suck up to and what are their past life experiences? Have they ever owned a company and had to fret about not making payroll on a Friday? Has the pundit ever had an independent thought or does he just mouth what everyone else in his tribe mouths?
- The lessons of history teach us virtually everything we need to know about economics, politics, sociology, philosophy and the nature of man. To learn the lessons of history, never pay any attention to any university professor, especially an Ivy League professor ( see # 1 above). In fact, your first synapse of thought should be to disbelieve whatever they say. Read lots of history (nonfiction) written by authors who are independent and NOT university professors. Discuss what you have read with “real” people who are engaged in the private sector for their livelihood and have practical knowledge and life experiences dealing with all the vagaries of the human condition.
- Does the pundit practice what Plato called the “noble lie?” Is he so obsessed with his holiness and righteous mission that he feels justified in purposefully lying to achieve what he deems to be the greater good?
- Don’t be bedazzled by fancy titles and those who cling to the title of “expert.” Many experts justify their existence by creating new theories of thought that bring attention to themselves, as opposed to solving practical issues. Fancy talkers are not necessarily fancy thinkers. My dad used to use the term “slaughters the King’s English,” as in “she’s a great waitress, but boy does she slaughter the King’s English.” No one loves clever semantics executed with proper Strunk and White precision more than I do, but there are a lot of “Bubbas” and “Tammy Sues” whose verb conjugations aren’t perfect, but who are smart as a whip with intelligence skills that the tweed jacket and ascot wearing college professor does not have.
- How many times has the pundit been wrong? I’ve never experienced this sensation, but if I ever were to be wrong about anything, I would imagine I would have great remorse and would be extraordinarily careful in the future to phrase my punditry in a truthful manner. Most of our pundits, politicians and media personalities lie with impunity because they know in two days’ time your memory card will be wiped clean. When a pundit has been wrong many times and shows no remorse or willingness to reverse course, the pundit has an agenda and is not interested in the truth
- The door-to-door vacuum salesman is trying to sell you a vacuum. That’s obvious, but many don’t realize that the pundit and news personality is also a salesman. Treat the pundit and news personality the same way you treat the vacuum salesman. Shop around and vet several vacuum salesmen, both door to door and those at the appliance store. Talk to real people who use vacuums like the ones you are considering buying.
Memory. The best answers to every vexing investment decision, public policy problem or even questions on relationships all stem from having and retaining a long memory. What works, what doesn’t work and why. The world’s memory is history. The virtue signalers, the Karens and the woke all want to twist and subvert history for their own self-indulgent reasons, almost always stemming from some sort of hatred or antipathy towards people in the present. To them, history is a tool to “get something” today. To others such as your humble author, it is a tool to learn how to prevent future mistakes. How do you know what to believe? History is human nature. Place yourself in the exact time frame and under the exact circumstances, be honest and ask yourself what you would have done. 99.9% of the time, you would not have been Dietrich Bonhoeffer or Nathan Hale, you would’ve pursued your self-interest which we are all prone to do. History is always the result of the way we are wired.
Getting back to the Heat Bowl. History is replete with the devilishness of kings and their proxies who spread fear so they can have an excuse to take away your liberty. The Climate Change hoax is a rerun of a plot that’s been foisted on mankind throughout recorded history. This play is as old as Pericles’ Odean theatre.
Luckily, there are stupid men who do stupid things and you Dear Reader can go watch the yearly Heat Bowl contests on ESPN Classics and see that it was much hotter then than it is now.
