My brother Walter is one cheap bastard. I say this with great admiration. I’m pretty good at squeezing a nickel, but Wally…..Jesus, he’s in a league by himself! Wally’s good with money.
When Wally was 16 and I was 14 we’d go places to buy beer. It was an elaborate operation. I would do lookout work outside and Wally would actually “act older” and buy the beer. If needed he was armed with a fake ID. We were in Montross, Virginia, the next town over from where we lived, figuring that fewer people would know us there. It was kind of like a Seal team commando operation. Wally would have to walk in the store at exactly the right time when nobody else was in there, and we had a series of hand signals in case I sensed danger that could blow up the operation. This particular mission was going smoothly, Wally successfully consummated the transaction, all was clear on the outside, my stress was about over. Hurry up Wally and get in the car! Then, before exiting the store, Wally drops a nickel and it rolls under some shelving. Instead of leaving the store, like any normal person would do, Wally stops and spends 40 minutes looking for that nickel. In the meantime, some of our parents’ friends and various law enforcement officials walked into the store. I had to think fast and enter the store, talk and distract these folks so they wouldn’t focus on Wally crawling all over the floor with a brown bag of Budweiser beside him. Eventually the cheap son of a bitch found the nickel and we got away. I’m sure Wally still has that nickel and by now with interest it has grown to over $500,000.
Wally could read the newspaper when he was 3. He earned a joint JD/MBA at the University of Virginia while working 40 plus hours waiting tables. He’s the type that never had to study, and he’s been involved as a principal in numerous venture capital plays, so he’s a good one to talk to about money. The other day I called him and told him I was thinking about buying some more Dominion Energy stock. 18 months ago it was trading at over $80/share and was now at $40. It paid a good dividend. Wally said “no way, they’ve gone woke.” He explained how the stock started to drop almost as soon as the new woke president was hired and then told me several stories about people who worked there and the woke nonsense they experienced. I didn’t buy the stock.
Another recent conversation I’ve had got me thinking. I was talking to the Republican candidate for Commonwealth’s Attorney in Henrico County, Virginia. She was telling me how the woke “restorative justice” Commonwealth’s Attorney ran her office. I was told she only came in the office one day a week and the lawyers under her didn’t work very hard either. They had a horrible conviction rate. They were sloppy and didn’t do the necessary prep work and discovery for trial. I had always thought the cancer of woke-ism was primarily a marketing issue, turning off buyers due to the company’s woke politics. But now I have had a mini epiphany thinking about woke productivity. I know the archetype of the typical woke worker. They are entitled and think they are “owed something” by their employers. They are often smug and over educated, but dumb as a rock. Add into this mix, diversity hiring and not hiring on merit and productivity, and “Houston we have a problem.”
One doesn’t hear much of the Protestant Work Ethic (“PWE”) these days. The term is embedded in Calvinist theology. I didn’t know many Presbyterians growing up as they did not engage in under age beer buying as we Episcopalians did, so the term to me was devoid of Calvinist dogma regarding salvation. Any faith could practice PWE. To me it simply meant that hard work was a moral value, and this is the way I think of the term today.
This past weekend I went on a hunting trip down to eastern North Carolina. All seven of us owned our own businesses, and we spoke about all the jobs we had when we were 13. 6 of the 7 had paper routes. Our parents, regardless of their level of material wealth, all thought their children should “work,” in the same way that they thought of Sunday School and charitable giving. It was a moral issue. Learning to save and be disciplined and avoid burdensome debts was also part of this teaching.
I will try and put a definition on the PWE. My friend Dave Marshall lived across the street from my office building. A couple years ago he complimented me because he stated he noticed my car was always the first one there and the last to leave. I would say those with the PWE view Dave’s comment as a huge compliment, and those without it would not understand how or why his compliment could be a compliment. Barack Obama worked one year in the private sector for Business Consulting Group and in his writings, he definitely had an us v. them mindset. I think those with the PWE view their employers as “we” and that they feel they have a duty to serve the company and work late until they get the job done. The PWE employee never sits idle. If he doesn’t have an immediate task, he picks up a broom and sweeps the floor. The PWE employee is concerned with production where the woke employee is merely concerned with hearing the whistle blow at closing time. The PWE employee knows that the customer is always right and that sales are the lifeblood of any company. The PWE fellow wants his boss to be rich where the wokester is envious of his boss’ wealth and authority over him. He also knows that his discipline and work ethic will pay a multitude of dividends leading to future opportunities and rewards, yet it’s his conscience and not material wealth that primarily drives him. He may not have read about sloth being a deadly sin or the many teachings in the Bible to use one’s talents efficiently, but in his bones, he views industrious and energetic work as a moral imperative.
Like Justice Potter Stewart’s definition of pornography, I can’t concisely define the Protestant Work Ethic, but “I know it when I see it.” Now that Wally has me thinking, I also know that these types of employees are going to be 20, 30, 40% or even more productive than your average woke tub of lard. Think of the lost productivity and boneheadedness that occurs in a company with thousands of woke employees. It’s staggering. Thus, I have a brilliant idea that will generate tremendous wealth and enhanced valuations for all publicly traded companies. Drop the ESG scores and all the woke bullshit. Tell the markets that your company’s goal is to have a ZERO ESG score. Promote a PWE culture and a PWE score. Only hire those who pass the PWE aptitude test. Let investors know that you hire solely on merit, you do not put up with any crybaby whiners and that the sole obligation of management is to serve the shareholders, PERIOD.
Markets would go apes#it in appreciation, sales would skyrocket and valuations would soar.
