She poisoned the damn dog. I’m pretty sure she killed her ex-husband.
For the love of money
People will steal from their mother
For the love of money
People will rob their own brother ( 2nd verse, For The Love of Money, the O’Jays)
She was a real bitch. A climber who knew how to marry into trust fund families. I knew her first husband. His house mysteriously burned down. Other tragedies befell him. I knew her second husband. Very rich. Beautiful historic home on the Rappahannock River. His beloved dog barked all night. She poisoned the dog. A few years later, husband died of a mysterious stomach ailment. I think she did him in. Much malice. Much money. All about the money. She’ll be at the club today, eating cucumber sandwiches (no crust), having lunch with the other tennis ladies.
Boy, have I seen some things! People have always confided in me. I don’t know why. Not drinking is part of it. The funny thing is many tell me things when they are drunk and of course forget what they have told me. I’m also a lawyer and am in the business of dealing with inherited wealth. Through all this, I can go to a cocktail party and know all the closeted skeletons of all there. It can be dispiriting. I have never betrayed a confidence, but my experiences have given me great insight into human nature and one thing I can say with great certainty, when it comes to inherited wealth people will “steal from their mother and rob their own brother.”
There’s something about inherited wealth that gives people a sense of entitlement to steal. “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Many university scholars have twisted this Tolstoy quote to death, but for me it simply means that there is dysfunction and craziness in almost every family.
Jill is two years older than he sister Julia. Growing up, they were accomplished tennis players. Jill was big and unattractive, Julia was tall, beautiful and a better tennis player. Julia moved to New York, married well and had a successful career in the fashion industry. Jill stayed home, and because she was nearby, Dad made her the General Partner of the Family Limited Partnership. Dad dies and Jill extracts $6 million over the next 10 years at Julia’s expense. All one needs to do is look at a photo of the two on the tennis court when they were 10 and 12 to understand the psychology that allowed Jill to think she was entitled to steal all this money. “I am owed this money; Julia was always prettier than me.”
Dr. “Jimmy” was a long beloved family doctor and a fairly well-known art collector. His second wife was 30 years his junior. He got dementia. Wife and Dr. Jimmy’s eldest son were the same age. They conspired to sell off his artwork before he died while changing his will to cut out his other three children. There’s a suspicion that eldest son who was married got jiggy with stepmom to bring her under his influence to carry out the conspiracy. Why would eldest son do this to his siblings? Man, there are some dark secrets in that family. I can’t begin to explain it all!
Woman of limited inherited wealth calls me to tell me her story and how two family members took advantage of her. One stole a valuable ring ($65,000) she inherited and the other convinced her to give him $50,000 to invest for her in Crypto, and of course just stole her money. I know them, both are considered well heeled members of the community. The only reason I can think of as to why they would take advantage of this poor woman is that they think they are entitled because it is “family” money.
How many times have I seen Grandad leave a trust where he makes one of the beneficiaries a trustee and the trustee treats the pot of money as his own bank account. I’ve seen trusts established for minor children where one of the parents rips his kids off to support his over-the-top lifestyle. I’ve seen a fiduciary make (steal) over $400,000 of cash withdrawals to support her drug habits.
I’d like to think if I was a crook, I would be extremely clever in how I stole money. But family members aren’t. It’s almost always right there in the checkbook. It’s baffling.
Once the fiduciary dips his hand in the cookie jar once, the guilt seems to vanish for all subsequent cookie jar raids. Sometimes the fiduciary intends to pay the money back, but almost always gets in over his head.
Just this week, Mom dies, and already her deadbeat son is taking valuable artifacts out of her house. For the past 12 years, deadbeat son and his wife have lived in one of Mom’s “extra houses,” a beautiful 19th century home and has never paid her a dime in rent. Mom died without a will. House now belongs to all 3 children. Deadbeat says the house is his because “Mom wanted me to have it.” What a mess.
I have two friends with the same somewhat rare surname. Both great guys and very accomplished. They don’t speak because two generations ago there was family dispute over an estate.
A very pretty woman I know hates her aunt because her grandfather gave two corner cupboards to the aunt and not her father when he died 20 years ago. Even though her father got several million dollars, she still bitches about the corner cupboards. I’m like “Woman, why don’t you get a job and just go buy some corner cupboards and shut the F-up!”
I can’t count the times when someone has met with me to discuss a family member, and midway through the story, I cut them off and say “she’s stealing from you.”
I know some very good people who were entrusted with money and did some bad things. I’ve never looked down upon them because I know they are good people, but various societal pressures got to them and polluted their judgment.
Here’s the deal folks. A good bit of all this ugliness can be prevented through proper planning and good legal work. Most lawyers suck. They are robotic and only care about their fee. You need a guy who has seen what I’ve seen, a guy who cares and is willing to push and ask the right questions. No two situations are alike. Perhaps the two most important objectives are #1, you want to avoid a family schism, i.e., you want your children and grandchildren to spend Christmas together, and #2, you don’t want to put a family member in a position where they are tempted to steal. I’m sorry to sound so jaundiced. You might have the best children in the world, but like I’ve said, I’ve seen things…..
Inherited wealth can do wonderful things for your family, but it can also tear families apart. With attention to detail and a little bit of money, a rich benefactor can provide for his family, while simultaneously keep them from killing each other.
